So, I had it in my head that this would be some kind of crazy event that would require a pen and notepad and a lot of Hunter S. Thompson channelling. I prepared to go Gonzo.
But the March 2010 Blogger Meetup at Rooney’s Irish Pub in Pittston (there are Irish there, evidently) ended up being pretty tame, so no crazy journalistic writing — sorry, readers! Oh, I did, however, meet a Teabagger!
I figured I would wear a button down, but no tie, since I had to impress people but didn’t want to come off stodgy. Before I hopped in the car to make my way, I called Gort, who informed me that Teabaggers would be there, in particular Chris Paige, Dave Madeira, and Frank Scavo. This required a change in battle plan. I called a friend and soon-to-be-fellow NEPArtisan Blogger, Doug, who is rather large and imposing, and asked him to join me just in case. In case of what, you ask? Well, Teabaggers are insane, and I have an extraordinarily low tolerance for illogical people. The potential for sparks meant caution and prudence were in order.
So, upon arrival, the place was jammed, which, according to Gort and Lu Lac, is new. I worked the crowd and said introduced myself to strangers. I assumed I would know most of these people, even if they didn’t know me. Justin Carroll, Corey O’Brien’s campaign manager, was in attendance, along with Paul Kanjorski’s. I don’t remember the man’s name, but as soon as he identified himself, I asked him why his guy screwed Chris Carney and NEPA in general. He didn’t know, because he hadn’t spoken to Kanjo. Easy out. Kanjo’s campaign still hasn’t responded.
There were far more Luzerne politicians than Lackawanna. I’m sure I’m going to forget people. I met the very elegant and well-spoken Phyllis Mundy, John Yudichak, and Bob Morgan. My brain sucks, so I’ll stop there.
From Lackawanna way, John Moran, candidate in the 114th (Wansacz’s soon-to-be-former seat) showed up, shook hands, and introduced himself. Tony Coppola, Wansacz’s campaign manager, also made the rounds. Former Scranton Mayor Jimmy McNulty was in attendance.
I briefly met Chris Paige, who recently dropped out of his race in Pennsylvania’s 11th. I said “hello” and asked him what brought him here. He said, “I was invited” then turned around and literally ran away. Fine, not literally, but still. I hoped to have a conversation with the man (I wanted to ask him if he would continue blogging), but I guess he only has guts when he’s writing an angry post about our rights being taken away in our pursuit to help the less fortunate. Whatevskies.
Dave Madeira sadly never showed, which brings us to the Teabagger King of the Party: Frank Scavo. I’ve never met a Teabagger in person, just read about them. He takes exception to the moniker, as, in his words, it’s disgusting, but Teabaggers were the first to call themselves Teabaggers, we raunchy liberals thought it was hilarious, and we ran with it. While Scavo wasn’t violently throwing bricks at my face like some of his compatriots, but, wow, I’ve never had a conversation like the one I had with Frank.
I had two conversations, to be clear, and the second one I brought a witness with me (my bodyguard, Doug) to confirm that Scavo, indeed, made no sense.
In our first bit of repartee, Frank started talking about how we need to return to God, which he asserted we can neither agree upon or define. I tried to ask him what the hell that meant, but he barely let me get a word in edgewise. Then he made some kind of point about “In God We Trust” being on our money, then he, no joke, HIGH-FIVED the guy next to him, who look like he fell off of the Megadeath Roadie Bus. Then he brought out his wallet to show me that “In God We Trust” is written on our money. I kept trying to bring up the Treaty of Tripoli in which one of our Founders explicitly states that we are not a Christian nation, but he didn’t hear me over the sound of his own high-fives. I thought being more simple, not including complex words like “treaty” might get a response, and so I asked if the Founders thought this was a Christian nation. He said no! Hello, everybody, let me introduce you to my friend, Makes Less Sense Than Before.
I exited to the bathroom.
Then after a nice dinner with Stephen Albert from Not Cease From Exploration, I got my backup, Doug, and went in for round 2 with Frank. He informed me that he is a black and white kind of guy, that he refuses to view the world in abstracts. He kept asking me yes or no questions, I kept responding “It’s more complicated than that” and he kept trying to tell me it wasn’t. As an example, he tried to tell me that the pension crisis that the teachers are facing is because of the market. This man was a School Director. I told him he was dead wrong, and we can trace it to the pension holiday (which was 2 years of districts and the state contributing ZERO to the the pension). He said no. I, again, pointed out that he was dead wrong and he started talking about how he gave the teachers in Old Forge the best contract they’ve ever had. GAH! Non-sequitur anybody?
That’s a tactic of these people. Talk like you know what you’re saying, and when confronted with proof that you’re wrong, bring something else up. It’s a rhetorical tactic that works on people with IQs lower than 80. Sorry, I read up on policy on a daily basis and at least attempt to grasp these issues before I opine.
Anyway, then he tried to make some kind of argument that experienced teachers are better than inexperienced ones. I, again, pointed out it’s not so simple. I’ve had artists-in-residence come to my classroom — they aren’t experience with teaching — and yet, they’ve inspired and taught kids in ways I never could. But Scavo kept pushing the point. So I agreed and said that, yes, experienced teachers are better. Then I said, by that argument, that Wansacz would be more qualified for State Senate than him. Scavo is Mr. Black-and-White, so if we are going to use his black and white standards in one instance, they, logically, must be applicable in all cases.
But, of course, logic didn’t enter into this equation all night long, why would it now? Scavo asked how many strikes Wansacz deserved, and then kept calling him my boy. I don’t have a “boy” in the State Senate race, actually. And was trying to make a point, using Wansacz as an example. He put up his fingers and kept yelling strikes and asking Doug how many fingers he had up. What? Then he pulled out the wallet again to somehow backup his point that Wansacz isn’t good for wallets.
I’m getting tired of even recounting this. Forgive the stilted nature of this post, as I’m not in a creative writing mood. Illogic and frustration do that to me. Honestly, this man has no chance of winning, since he’s a Republican. And even if he weren’t, high-fiving, yelling about strikes, whipping out wallets, refusing to listen or use reason, and claiming the world is not complex… well, that’s a political death sentence.
Last I checked, understanding is essential to governing. Although, this guy is part of the Sarah Palin school of politics. The one where you drop out and somehow feel like you’re qualified anyway.
EDITOR’S NOTE: Here is a link to the article in the Citizen’s Voice about the Meetup, picture of me included!